If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
