Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
