his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
