Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
