So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We have started to decorate penises.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
