I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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