I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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