Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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