is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
