I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
