I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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