thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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