I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
