Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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