Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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