God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
