So drunk its hurt
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
