wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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