Will you blow on my dice?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
