How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
