he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
