8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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