i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
