So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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