If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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