I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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