Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
