Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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