There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
