saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
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She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
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Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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