just tell him i said nine months
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
