"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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