More tranny stories later!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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