Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
