Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
