There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
