This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize