Screwed.edu
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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