i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I don't think brook has ever known best
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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