She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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