She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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