so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
