If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
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Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
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After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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