never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You did what with his pubic hair?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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