it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
