I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize