I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
