Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
