clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
