According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
