One girl and one boy is just not enough.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
