so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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