Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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