i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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