His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
