Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
