8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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