Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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