Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
